I have a confession to make, up until my MRI etc. (last week). I hadn’t left my house any more than a handful of times in 2009. My neurologist was incredulous. He suggested anti-depressants and I declined. I did, however, have to promise to leave the house everyday, get some exercise (remember I used to walk everyday?), and make sure to eat properly. Shouldn’t we all do that anyway?
It’s not an anxiety thing. I am not worried about leaving the house (really). I just don’t feel like it. I am exhausted, I don’t want to get dressed, I don’t want to cook. You get the idea.
Anyway … a promise is a promise, right? So I’ve been shopping, met a friend for coffee (thanks Pam), went for lunch with Hayley (kid #1), been to the dentist (woohoo).
Georgia and I out shopping – proof I left the house (taken with my iPhone).
I peter out about 4 p.m., so once supper is cooked and eaten, I organize the kidlets for the next day and I often go to bed. I usually get lucky and have a kid or two in bed with me. Mostly Georgia, because she’ll watch NEWS and like it (who knew?). Last night laying in bed, feeling guiltly because I wasn’t participating much in life, I promised her I would do two things with her today, she could pick. She wanted to jump on the trampoline with me and go for a bike ride. My balance is a bit wonky, so both are an effort.
Trampoline is a work out –> one, two, three, four, I declare a bum war.
Biking … HA, do remember when you were a kid and you needed a few tries to get all balanced and going. That’s me and my brainstem injury on a bike. It’s like I’m 6 again. VERY embarrassing at major intersections.
My couch warming, pj wearing, house loving, winter has left me somewhat plump (OK … down right FAT). I’m one of those unlucky women who is built like a barrel. I am massive on top and fairly normal on the bottom. My closet is full of regular sized jeans and my shirts are fucking ENORMOUS.
I just can’t find a shirt that doesn’t emphasis the back fat. I need the magic shirt that makes me thin. I am ready to jump off a bridge. You pear-shaped fatty’s have it so much better. I’ve tried on about 30 shirts in the past week and each time, my life gets darker and more depressing.
I’d do anything … ANYTHING to loose weight (except diet and exercise). I want my pj’s back! Would it be wrong to pretend I was a nurse and wear scrubs?
MK xo
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I suffer from anxiety and depression and often find myself staying inside! You have my empathy. I hope things look up for you. Cindi
Your 2009 sounds like mine, only with less kids, more wine.
NO!! Do not put on scrubs. If ur definition is accurate then u will just look like one of those scary nurses that say “this won’t hurt” then they jab u & guess what it really hurts!! Haha.. Get out!! Start small, but start up walking again..not too much balance required there, well not like biking. Hope things get better! I have fybromyaliga so I totally get the exhausted part!
No scrubs, please! Unless you’re secretly going to med school when you say you’re in bed with Georgia and the news. We all know Georgia would totally cover for you, and the news ain’t talkin’.
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It sounds like you’re built like my stepmom. She’s always got skinny legs, no matter how much she weighs… but I’ve always wished I was shaped MORE like her. I hate my belly rolls, I’d rather have one big smooth belly, and I HATE my thighs.
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perhaps the warmer weather & increasing sunshine will make outings more…appealing. that has been the case for me lately…i even jogged 2x in the past 2 weeks (i was training for a half marathon till we moved to WA in october…haven’t run or done ANY exercise AT ALL since)…it’s SOOO hard to get started again. blech. on the scrubs…. i’m not a fashion guru, but i went through a ‘stage’ where i wore jeans & scrub shirts (with yellow dr. martens….i feel like that was an important aspect)…though i’m not sure i could ‘get away’ with the ensemble now as a 30yo mommy. not cool enough anymore. ;)
& last: trampoline = pee myself. no trampolines please. i’m too lazy for kegels. that’s pretty lazy.
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I know the feeling. It seems to take MAJOR effort to get out of the house and I can see the pounds creeping on around the middle. Not cool! I have good intentions but never follow through. Ugh.
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Honestly, coming from a family of pears…we don’t necessarily have it better. At least you can wear mini skirts… :)
I’m hoping to do a cleanse sometime this month. Perhaps that will help me get rid of some extras around my saddlebags – they’re supposed to be good for energy too!
Hey, just keep telling yourself you’re beautiful. No matter what.
Dan
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Girl I have missed you. Catching up has been great b/c your sense of humor totally cracks me up. I hate that you have to endure all this stuff… (medically) but the barrel thing is a hoot, you know why?? because I am a barrel too!!! I am a small framed person, no butt AT ALL!!! so the love handles and the ‘I had two babies’ bump just looks horrible in all this form fitting shirts. I take them off and put my frumpy tshirts on and feel much better. My problem… that it will be 100 plus soon and I need to wear tank tops so that I’m not embarrassed with my wet pits!!! So gross! Anyhoo… I’m thinking of you… take care.
I’m glad you got out! Good for you.
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Honestly, one of my biggest motivators to lose this baby weight is I REFUSE to buy clothes to accommodate my current weight. I see all those cute pre-pregnancy clothes in my closet and it helps motivate me. I’ll let you know if I ever fit back into them. :-)
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Well done you getting out and about!
Amber said, “Honestly, one of my biggest motivators to lose this baby weight is I REFUSE to buy clothes to accommodate my current weight.”.
That’s a great idea – never thought about that. I really should’ve tried that when I had mine.
My Levis
I absolutely feel ya. Over the last 6 months I have changed my daily attire from khaki’s to sweat pants and a t shirt. I rarely leave the house…and when I do I get separation anxiety from my laptop. “note to self”- get wireless internet card from cell phone provider. bamboo sheets
I never learned how to ride the bike! How incredulous, right? I just never did. It’s frustrating, actually. About the shirts, you could get some custom made. That way you can be very specific about the type of cut you want and the style. Plus, you know your tops are definitely one of a kind :) It’s great also that you got out and had some activities to busy yourself with. Maybe next time you could give walking another try :)
The matter will never be so anxious to make a decision in double minds. Just cool your head, divert your attention from the current issue and take a healthy and refreshing drinks or food. It is as simple as it is to be a cool.
It is definitely a lifestyle change… all areas of your life need to reflect a healthy life style and your correct in having a balanced spiritual, physical and emotional life.
That’s good! Your kid Georgia is really unique. She’s the only kid in town that loves to watch news. Bravo Georgia!
I salute your being strong in spite of the odd feelings. But then again, you should not think of doing things that will eventually make you “ill” again. You did the right thing of not taking those anti-depressant remedy. It will “ruin” your life I know for sure because its toxic and its chemical.
Georgia is the bomb!, anti depressants don’t help most IMO.
there are many things in life that throw you a loop, it takes a wise person to wade through the garbage.
LOL , I love that you said you gave proof why you left your house with a photo . .. Nice touch :P
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don’t worry,,, you will get back in shape in no time. Georgia seems to have found lots of toys.
As someone who has a grandniece who is a gorgeous little girl in her own right, she doesn’t need to see this kind of fake advertising. I’m sure if her father saw this ad he would freak out and never buy anything from this line either. For that matter her mother would never ever offer her this line of clothing. Her mom is just as beautiful as she is. Sexuality does not have a place until a person is old enough to know what they themselves are about. What does this tell the child?